Saturday, 30 May 2009

Things That Go Bump In the Night # 5

Childhood fears continued.

12. Fireworks

Whether it's the fact that they sound and shake like bombs.. or the fact they cost millions of wasted pounds for seconds of so-called pleasure.. or that they wreck havoc with the ozone layer.. or that people think that any old humdrum event can be glammed up by letting a few of these bad boys off.. or that I was scarred for life from watching the 999 special episode on Bonfire Night when they reinact the boy who has fireworks go off in his pocket.. whatever the reason, I have always and will always loathe fireworks, and be petrified by them.

13. Wasps.

Serve no ecological purpose and hurt like hell. Plus I'm allergic to their stings so it's not just an 'ouch' its a 'motherfuckeryou'llpayforthisyouwanker' ouch.

14. Hairdressers.

People that aren't your parents touching your face and putting sharp objects very close to your brain. and then twenty minutes later, the hair that you knew and loved has vanished. what's to like?

15. Having to stand up and talk aloud in class.

I must have tried every possible excuse I could think of during my years of compulsary education to get out of speaking infront of my classmates. I would get beetroot faced and sweaty palmed and close to spewsville from the nerves. What valuable lession it prepares you for in later life is totally beyond me.

No comments:

Post a Comment