Showing posts with label awesome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awesome. Show all posts
Monday, 22 June 2009
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
10 Things I love about: The Elderly
1. Elderly clothes. Elasticated, practical and pastel. I can't wait.
2. Anyone that has lived that long to tell the tale, and by this I mean anyone over the age of 65, can say what they want. As soon as it pops into their mildly rascist wrinkly heads they spout it out. No filter between head and mouth. And the worst that they get in response is a tut tut or a rolling of the eyes.
3. Not only do they say what they want, but they eat what they want too. No more pretence at a figure keeping diet. If an old lady wants to eat biscuits three or four meals a day, then she will. Oh, and smoking pipes and/or 60 a day. Awesome.
4. The elderly get seats offered on buses they don't have to pay for. And they can talk to strangers and stroke dogs and coo at babies without anyone causing a 'what the hell's that peedo lady doing?' fuss. Lucky for some.
5. They don't have to work unless they want to. They can spend their pensioner days wearing slippers, doing crosswords, putting the kettle on, and watching afternoon telly. Sigh. Heaven.
6. By default, they have the best stories to tell because they have lived longer and seen better things, they know what they know, if you know what I mean. And you're never likely to forget these stories (if my own granny is anything to go by) because they get repeated to you so many times so many times so many times.
7. Nodding off is completely allowed, forgiven, and even expected. You've had a big meal and feel dosy? Why not fall asleep in your chair! Someone is waffling on about something that you can't hear or understand or care about? Take a nap! Oh, the envy.
8. They give the best hugs. A combination of a bit of bodily wobbliness, comforting old lady perfume, soft hands and spare time.
9. Their ability to constantly shock and surprise with choices of gifts. Book of erotic lesbian literature anyone? Marijuana leaf wallet per chance?
10. No matter what you think of them, they don't care. They were going to do what they were going to do, with or without your support. Rock on.
2. Anyone that has lived that long to tell the tale, and by this I mean anyone over the age of 65, can say what they want. As soon as it pops into their mildly rascist wrinkly heads they spout it out. No filter between head and mouth. And the worst that they get in response is a tut tut or a rolling of the eyes.
3. Not only do they say what they want, but they eat what they want too. No more pretence at a figure keeping diet. If an old lady wants to eat biscuits three or four meals a day, then she will. Oh, and smoking pipes and/or 60 a day. Awesome.
4. The elderly get seats offered on buses they don't have to pay for. And they can talk to strangers and stroke dogs and coo at babies without anyone causing a 'what the hell's that peedo lady doing?' fuss. Lucky for some.
5. They don't have to work unless they want to. They can spend their pensioner days wearing slippers, doing crosswords, putting the kettle on, and watching afternoon telly. Sigh. Heaven.
6. By default, they have the best stories to tell because they have lived longer and seen better things, they know what they know, if you know what I mean. And you're never likely to forget these stories (if my own granny is anything to go by) because they get repeated to you so many times so many times so many times.
7. Nodding off is completely allowed, forgiven, and even expected. You've had a big meal and feel dosy? Why not fall asleep in your chair! Someone is waffling on about something that you can't hear or understand or care about? Take a nap! Oh, the envy.
8. They give the best hugs. A combination of a bit of bodily wobbliness, comforting old lady perfume, soft hands and spare time.
9. Their ability to constantly shock and surprise with choices of gifts. Book of erotic lesbian literature anyone? Marijuana leaf wallet per chance?
10. No matter what you think of them, they don't care. They were going to do what they were going to do, with or without your support. Rock on.
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Once a Fat Kid, Always a Fat Kid.
This reminds me of my fat kid childhood. Being an overweight sprog is a state of mind.
This reminds me of my 'too much time on my hands' adolescence. If the creator of this hadn't got there first, I'm sure I would have bothered to edit special effects into it too.
This reminds me of my 'too much time on my hands' adolescence. If the creator of this hadn't got there first, I'm sure I would have bothered to edit special effects into it too.
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Hummus: The Series. Part 1
Hummus was never around when I was a child, and was only introduced to me as a fridge and picnic staple in my late teens. Nowadays not a week goes past when I don't polish off a tub or two, and in my short relationship with hummus I have come across many varieties on the standard chickpea mush- some that work, others that don't. In this new series exclusive to Through The Witty Pun I am going to take you on a journey- one that will no doubt inspire, enlighten, educate and bring back a memory or two to fellow hummus connoisseurs. I must add here that these reviews are the sole opinion of me, Paris Stilton, and not necessarily the view of Through The Witty Pun as a collective. So, like, don't sue me yeah. Furthermore, there doesn't seem to be a unified aggreement on one spelling of hummus/houmous/humous so you will see them used interchangeably. Deal with it.
1. Moroccan Inspired Hummus
Sainsburys 200g £1.25
Well, it may be a reviewer's faux par to start with what might end up being crowned the king of hummuses, but Sainsbury's Moroccan Inspired Hummus is out of this world. A thick, velvety texture cut through by a sharp kick of spice and with a generous clump of chickpeas on top this hummus can almost constitute a meal on it's own. Due to the richness of this treat of a dip, it goes very well with raw veg such as carrot or cucumber but can be borderline stodge on anything carby such as pitta or breadsticks. You are paying a little more for this than the regular product but for a true hummus indulgence you can't do better than this bad boy. The one and only fault I can find with this is that a larger size isn't on offer- one tub isn't enough to go round, but two seems like an extravagance, even for luxury-anything-goes-no-denial night.
Ingredients:
Moroccan Style Houmous (90%); Red Pepper Topping (10%).Moroccan Style Houmous contains: Cooked Chickpeas (31%) (Water, Chickpeas), Onion (24%), Rapeseed Oil, Tahini (from Sesame) (10%), Water, Red Chilli (5%), Concentrated Lemon Juice, Coriander (1%), Salt, Garlic Purée, Ginger Purée, Cumin, Paprika, Turmeric, Cinnamon.Red Pepper Topping contains: Cooked Chickpeas (54%) (Water, Chickpeas), Onion (36%), Red Pepper (27%), Rapeseed Oil, Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Red Chilli (1.5%), Sugar, Coriander (1.5%), Smoked Paprika, Salt, Paprika, Garlic Purée, Black Pepper
1. Moroccan Inspired Hummus
Sainsburys 200g £1.25
Well, it may be a reviewer's faux par to start with what might end up being crowned the king of hummuses, but Sainsbury's Moroccan Inspired Hummus is out of this world. A thick, velvety texture cut through by a sharp kick of spice and with a generous clump of chickpeas on top this hummus can almost constitute a meal on it's own. Due to the richness of this treat of a dip, it goes very well with raw veg such as carrot or cucumber but can be borderline stodge on anything carby such as pitta or breadsticks. You are paying a little more for this than the regular product but for a true hummus indulgence you can't do better than this bad boy. The one and only fault I can find with this is that a larger size isn't on offer- one tub isn't enough to go round, but two seems like an extravagance, even for luxury-anything-goes-no-denial night.
Ingredients:
Moroccan Style Houmous (90%); Red Pepper Topping (10%).Moroccan Style Houmous contains: Cooked Chickpeas (31%) (Water, Chickpeas), Onion (24%), Rapeseed Oil, Tahini (from Sesame) (10%), Water, Red Chilli (5%), Concentrated Lemon Juice, Coriander (1%), Salt, Garlic Purée, Ginger Purée, Cumin, Paprika, Turmeric, Cinnamon.Red Pepper Topping contains: Cooked Chickpeas (54%) (Water, Chickpeas), Onion (36%), Red Pepper (27%), Rapeseed Oil, Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Red Chilli (1.5%), Sugar, Coriander (1.5%), Smoked Paprika, Salt, Paprika, Garlic Purée, Black Pepper
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Monday, 1 June 2009
Friday, 29 May 2009
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
I'm gonna pun you down bitches!
Puns rule. Nuff said.
Puns on t shirts? Um, yes peas!
Are you for real?
Puns on t shirts? Um, yes peas!
Are you for real?
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