Wednesday, 22 July 2009
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Somewhat naked man with a gun picture of the day

How many times did you miss an opportunity and think "Oh I wish I had known before"? Too many. Well that never happened to this guy for one simple reason:
HE'S ALWAYS PREPARED
and you're not.
and you're not.
This dude right here is the embodiment of the expression "born ready". I'm pretty sure his militia friends call him Mr. 360 degrees. Terrorists on sight? Click click blah, Tango down. Post-lunch, Pabst Blue Ribbon induced drowsiness? That's what human-shaped sleeping bags are made for. Possible hook up with semi-hot chicks at the local NRA convention? Heeeeeeell yeah.
Don't let the goofy backdrop fool you: if awesomeness was a science, my man 360 would win a Nobel prize.
I shed so many pounds, I'm dancing in a poodle of fat!
Alternate title: "Work it out, bitch"
Labels:
aciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid,
dogs,
fat no more,
fitness,
poodles,
taxidermy
Tuesday, 30 June 2009
Friday, 26 June 2009
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Monday, 22 June 2009
Quote of the Day: June 22nd
16:31pm
Upstairs afternoon meeting.
Translation/Summary of Rant:
"Roisin, i'm going to shit all over you and you have to clear it up. OK? I just don't have the fucking time to fucking deal with my own messy stupid life."
Upstairs afternoon meeting.
Translation/Summary of Rant:
"Roisin, i'm going to shit all over you and you have to clear it up. OK? I just don't have the fucking time to fucking deal with my own messy stupid life."
Karaoke in the Kitchen, June 22, 2009
What: The Verve, The Drugs Don't Work
Where: In the kitchen
Key line: Like a cat in a bag.
Where: In the kitchen
Key line: Like a cat in a bag.
Friday, 19 June 2009
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
10 Things I love about: The Elderly
1. Elderly clothes. Elasticated, practical and pastel. I can't wait.

2. Anyone that has lived that long to tell the tale, and by this I mean anyone over the age of 65, can say what they want. As soon as it pops into their mildly rascist wrinkly heads they spout it out. No filter between head and mouth. And the worst that they get in response is a tut tut or a rolling of the eyes.

3. Not only do they say what they want, but they eat what they want too. No more pretence at a figure keeping diet. If an old lady wants to eat biscuits three or four meals a day, then she will. Oh, and smoking pipes and/or 60 a day. Awesome.

4. The elderly get seats offered on buses they don't have to pay for. And they can talk to strangers and stroke dogs and coo at babies without anyone causing a 'what the hell's that peedo lady doing?' fuss. Lucky for some.

5. They don't have to work unless they want to. They can spend their pensioner days wearing slippers, doing crosswords, putting the kettle on, and watching afternoon telly. Sigh. Heaven.

6. By default, they have the best stories to tell because they have lived longer and seen better things, they know what they know, if you know what I mean. And you're never likely to forget these stories (if my own granny is anything to go by) because they get repeated to you so many times so many times so many times.

7. Nodding off is completely allowed, forgiven, and even expected. You've had a big meal and feel dosy? Why not fall asleep in your chair! Someone is waffling on about something that you can't hear or understand or care about? Take a nap! Oh, the envy.

8. They give the best hugs. A combination of a bit of bodily wobbliness, comforting old lady perfume, soft hands and spare time.

9. Their ability to constantly shock and surprise with choices of gifts. Book of erotic lesbian literature anyone? Marijuana leaf wallet per chance?

10. No matter what you think of them, they don't care. They were going to do what they were going to do, with or without your support. Rock on.

2. Anyone that has lived that long to tell the tale, and by this I mean anyone over the age of 65, can say what they want. As soon as it pops into their mildly rascist wrinkly heads they spout it out. No filter between head and mouth. And the worst that they get in response is a tut tut or a rolling of the eyes.
3. Not only do they say what they want, but they eat what they want too. No more pretence at a figure keeping diet. If an old lady wants to eat biscuits three or four meals a day, then she will. Oh, and smoking pipes and/or 60 a day. Awesome.

4. The elderly get seats offered on buses they don't have to pay for. And they can talk to strangers and stroke dogs and coo at babies without anyone causing a 'what the hell's that peedo lady doing?' fuss. Lucky for some.

5. They don't have to work unless they want to. They can spend their pensioner days wearing slippers, doing crosswords, putting the kettle on, and watching afternoon telly. Sigh. Heaven.

6. By default, they have the best stories to tell because they have lived longer and seen better things, they know what they know, if you know what I mean. And you're never likely to forget these stories (if my own granny is anything to go by) because they get repeated to you so many times so many times so many times.

7. Nodding off is completely allowed, forgiven, and even expected. You've had a big meal and feel dosy? Why not fall asleep in your chair! Someone is waffling on about something that you can't hear or understand or care about? Take a nap! Oh, the envy.

8. They give the best hugs. A combination of a bit of bodily wobbliness, comforting old lady perfume, soft hands and spare time.

9. Their ability to constantly shock and surprise with choices of gifts. Book of erotic lesbian literature anyone? Marijuana leaf wallet per chance?

10. No matter what you think of them, they don't care. They were going to do what they were going to do, with or without your support. Rock on.
Monday, 15 June 2009
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Once a Fat Kid, Always a Fat Kid.
This reminds me of my fat kid childhood. Being an overweight sprog is a state of mind.
This reminds me of my 'too much time on my hands' adolescence. If the creator of this hadn't got there first, I'm sure I would have bothered to edit special effects into it too.
This reminds me of my 'too much time on my hands' adolescence. If the creator of this hadn't got there first, I'm sure I would have bothered to edit special effects into it too.
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Celeb Watch: Myleene Klass Update
Myleene Klass, according to reports, accidentally got superglued to a bed in a Costa Rican hotel.
The story goes that Klass's insect repellent reacted with the varnish on the posts. Ha! Oldest one in the book.
The source tells how "Hotel staff had to peel her off slowly but surely."
Myleene Klass - omelette woman.
The story goes that Klass's insect repellent reacted with the varnish on the posts. Ha! Oldest one in the book.
The source tells how "Hotel staff had to peel her off slowly but surely."
Myleene Klass - omelette woman.
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Quote of the Day: 9th June
Angel Delight, standing up. 15:47pm
"The last thing I want is a penis in my butter."
"The last thing I want is a penis in my butter."
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